Some Short, Easy To Read Stories.

1. Dave.

Dave want to be a space scientist but his mum want him to be not that but a vet or dentist.
Dave say to his mum, ‘Okay, alright then mum,’ and Dave mom says, ‘Good boy.’
Dave dad do not care as is drunk or down the pub all the time and do not worry if Dave want to be a space scientist or anything else.
Many years later when Dave mom is dead, Dave reveal he has been a space scientist all along and not dentist like he did say.


2. Talking Horse.

One day a talking horse did come by Donald’s house. The horse knock on Donald’s door, with it head I think, and say, ‘Donald, come with me to magic kingdom where all is well and the trees grow Snickers and Captain Crunch and nobody is ever bad or punished for being bad when they didn’t do it. Also God live there and his son The Holy Jesus Christ.’
‘Do they have halos?’ Donald ask and the horse say to him, ‘Yes, they have halos.’
Donald say, ‘All right then,’ and he go with his new friend only it is a trap.


3. The Terrible Zombie Plague.

It is year 2055 and everyone is dead from a terrible space-zombie plague, or chopped in half. That is everyone except Michael A Blitting. Michael A Blitting did not die while everyone else did die. It was a horrible death for all concerned. He is also skilfully escape chopping in half from kung foo from a strange chinaman who was never seen again. He had slant eyes and a pigtail. The reason Michael A Blitting did not die is for the following reason. Radiation from a radiation accident from when he was little.

4. The Terrible Zombie Plague - Chapter 2.

It is ten years and all everywhere the cities have grass and animals roam the land. Michael A Blitting is almost completely mad from being alone so much. Then suddenly he comes upon a girl who is just his age and keen to marry.
‘I thought I was alone and nearly mad from lonely nights all the time,’ he tells her.
‘Me too,’ she said.
At first Michael A Blitting think it might be a trap like the horse but in the end it wasn’t.


5. The Dream.

It started out not being a dream, then it ended up just being a dream.


6. Magumbo.

It was very dark with the lights out and Magumbo couldn’t see anything so he turned a light on.
‘Ah, that is better,’ he said.
Magumbo looked around but there was nothing to see so he turned the light back out.
Everything was quiet, then Magumbo thought he heard something in the darkness and he turned the light on but it was nothing again.
‘Maybe it was a dog,’ he said.

Soon it was morning and in nature’s light from the morning, Magumbo could see everything. Turning the light on made it only a little bit brighter so Magumbo didn’t do it except for when he checked that that was all it did. By noon time you couldn’t even tell if the light was on or off in the noon time sun, but of course inevitably it became night again and the light was once more an issue and it continued like this, day after day until eventually Magumbo died of natural causes.


7. Sleeping Dogs.

Terence's dog was asleep so Terence did not wake him up because of the story of 'Let Sleeping Dogs Lie.' His dog name was Griff. His grandma had told him that sleeping dog story as a young boy and then some years later she had died of natural causes. Some time after that his grandpa had died but that was his prostate so quite a different thing. The only thing his grandpa had told him was don’t pick your nose.

Two weeks later Terence's dog was still asleep. Also he was looking funny and didn’t smell so right so Terence did kick his dog and it did not move so Terence knew it was dead.
Terence did say with an irony in his voice, ‘So much for let sleeping dogs lie, gran,’ and he went out to play with his other dog, Talbot, who was still alive.


8. The Snotapult.

This time the story is about James. James did want a snotapult for Christmas. He arks Santy in his Christmas letter to Santy saying, ‘Please Santy give me a snotapult for Christmas.’
Santy write back and say, ‘Dear James what is a snotapult?’
Mail is slow in Arctica and by now when James did get this letter it is the middle of December.
After that James write back to Santy in a hurried manner and he says, ‘Dear Santy. Snotapult is like catapult only it fit under your nose and fire out snot.’
By the time Santy get this it is way after Christmas and James did end up only getting a book from his mum and ten dollars and a card from his dad who not live with them any more for reasons of incompatibility and nothing from Santy because of the snotapult mix-up.
After Christmas James’ best friend who is Jim arks James where is his snotapult and James says to Jim he doesn’t know.
James says to Jim, ‘Next year I will not arks for a snotapalt as this can only lead to trouble, confusion and a bitter disappointment.’
Also to add insult the book was about Whales Of Today and not called Mighty Creatures Of Prehistoric Oceans like he wanted and was a disappointment even if it did have a picture of whales doing-it.

By March James had decide to make his own snotapult and not involve Santy at all except he write to him in Arctica and say, ‘Forget about the snotapult as I will make it myself. James 21 Worthing Road Wolverhampton England Earth (Northern Hemisphere) Solar System Universe.’
Later Santy did write back and say, ‘Okay,’ and communication stop then for until towards next Christmas when James writes and arks Santy for a Acid-Gun which was a gun he dreamed in his sleep once that fire out acid.

9. The Dream. (This is number two.)

One night James is having a dream. Then James’s dream turn into a nightmare like the dream that start like a dream then end up as a nightmare. It start like any normal dream where James is at school and has no pants. Also he needs to go to a bathroom but all are full and they are tiny midgets and all the floors are wet and yuk is everywhere. It is number ones. Suddenly he needs to do number twos. Now the dream is nightmare.

10. Another  Dream James Did Have.

One morning James woke up and realise his whole life had just been a dream. James was seventy nine and only had time for one more quick dream before he died. James tried to go back to sleep but it was hard as James was not sleepy and this took up most of what life he had left. When he finally did sleep he dreamed he was at school with no pants on. Then he dreamed he wanted to do wees but all the toilets were occupied. Then it was time for James to die.
‘Do you dream in heaven,’ James wondered and in his dream God answers saying to James, ‘No, there is no dreaming in heaven.’ Then James dreamed he died and this time it was true.

11. Ray’s Dream.

It started as a dream but that lasted only about a minute, then it turned into a nightmare and stayed like that for all the rest of the dream. Ray was looking forward to when it came time to wake up but that time came and passed. Ray had become stuck in his dream.
Ray looked around and everyone else in the dream seemed to be waking up except him. He wondered if something funny had happened to his mind during the night. He’d had nightmares where he’d dreamt that before.
‘Well,’ Ray said, ‘There’s nothing else for it. I’ll have to fake my own death.’
It was a common solution to the problem of the never-ending dream but a dangerous one. One slip meant death.
‘Here goes,’ said Ray and he drank a glass of poison. It was an agonising death because Ray had dreamed the most terrible poison imaginable. Not only that, the poison didn’t work because, unbeknownst to Ray, in another part of his dream he had substituted just plain water, so not only was he dead from drinking poison that wasn’t real, he was still in the dream and now there were ghosts coming.
‘Excellent,’ said Ray. ‘Just what I need.’ This was sarcasm though and not at all what Ray needed just then.
Ray stayed in his dream for twenty years, until his mother woke him up for school.
His mum said, ‘Don’t worry Ray, it was all only a dream.’
‘I already knew that,’ Ray said, but his mother was no longer listening.


12. From a statement given to some police. This was Donald from the talking horse trap saying it.

Today I went to chemist. This was in Corby street just beside the bank there. I was very polite, in case that would help, but apparently not.
I say, ‘Hello. I am here to buy the drugs.’
She say, ‘We do not have those drugs.’
I say, ‘Well, what are all those packets behind you then?’
She say, ‘I will get the chemist,’ and she goes out back to get real chemist.
Then the chemist comes and he says, ‘Can I help you?’
I say, ‘I am here for the drugs.’
He say, ‘What drugs?’ and I say, ‘Oh, any will do.’
He say in stern voice, ‘What drug specifically?’ and I say, ‘I do not know its name.’ And he say, ‘I am calling police,’ and I say, ‘Why? Do they have the drugs?’
He say, ‘Wait here and don’t move.’

Also, aside from this one, in a way that might interest, I was also arrested by a police once on a railway station for doing wee on the railway track to see if electricity will come up into my thing, and what that would be like. They were not friendly like on TV in The Bill and the other one, Sherlock Holmes I think, only he is in America and possibly not called that.
So, anyway, back to the story. Chemist says, ‘Wait here and don’t move, as soon the police will come to arrest you.’
I say to chemist, ‘What is that behind you,’ and he turn around and I leave and go down the street to Chem-Mart where I say, ‘Hello, I am here to buy the drugs.’
They say, ‘We do not have those drugs,’ and so it went on.

13. Donald’s Name.

Donald did not like his name as a duck did also have that name. Also Donald want to be a Space Pirate but when Donald did think about this, and being called Donald, he sees the following.

Donald: Ho, hand over all the treasures and gold.
Other Person: What be your name.
Donald: Donald.
Other Person: Hah, you have name like a duck. No treasure for you.

Donald did say to his parents during a tea-time one night he would like to be another name. What name, say his parents and Donald tells them, King or Rex. His parents say to Donald, 'But they are dog names, both.' Donald does tell them, 'Better to be the name of a dog than a duck, in particular in regards to being a Space Pirate.'
His parents say, 'What Space Pirate?'

After he explains about this, his parents agree, but after a week he notices he is still Donald.