Medicare Australia
To whom it may concern.

My wife says I've recently begun swearing more when drunk than I used to. I believe there is a herbal treatment for this but I'm writing to you first to see if this sort of thing is covered by the fund as it costs a fucking arm and a leg.
It would be a blessing to me if Medicare could see its way clear to coming good on this one because, quite honestly, the whole thing is turning my wife into a STROPPY FUCKING BITCH.

Yours sincerely,

Paris Portingale
Medicare number 8923671

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