Dear David,

Just a quick question, if you died (God forbid) would you come back and haunt me?
I hate to bring up this topic but I'd rest a lot easier if I knew your plans in this area. If you ARE planning on coming back to haunt me (God forbid again) I was wondering if you could see your way clear to leaving out Wednesday nights as that's bowls night and I can see complications arising. Also, to a lesser degree, Friday nights as I like to keep up with The Bill, but don't worry if that's a bother.
Hope this reference to your mortality hasn't upset you but I think you can see my problem with this one.

Yours sincerely,

Paris.