The C.E.O.

Dear Sir.

I was at one of your supermarket checkouts recently, waiting for a price check on Generic Brand Toilet Rolls - Six Pack. To fill the awkward silence that accompanies these occasions I asked the seventeen year old cashier if she thought the word 'mileage' would ever be replaced by 'kilometreage'. She replied, 'It's unlikely. It's just a generic term relating to the ratio of distance travelled to fuel consumed. You could be talking about kilometres per litre, miles per gallon, even leagues per ton of coal if you wanted. It's all mileage.'
Thankfully the price check came through then and I was allowed to leave.
I was tempted to look the topic up on the Internet when I got home but became distracted by something, I can't remember what exactly. Anyway, I'm just telling you all this is so you'll know the kind of weird stuff that goes on at your checkouts and perhaps put a stop to it.

Yours sincerely,
Paris Portingale